Protége Moi

..waging wars to shape the poet and the beat..

2009-10-13T07:56:37Z

2PM 장우영 & Kings Of Leon ♥♥♥

Love illumines the heart and delights the mind.

2009-10-03T23:18:36Z

☆ A few weeks ago, one beautiful sunny and nicely windy morning, Ain, Delima and I decided to spend it at Wellington Zoo. Had a sweet and relaxing time that day, and Ain gave a wooden jungle alphabet letter to each one of us since we "behaved well during the trip" ㅋㅋ♥

This was an ad about the upcoming Animal Hospital - The Nest. Meerkat + otoscope = cuteness ♥

☆ Last week during our OSCE practice session, one station had this patient who's a med student. His issue was an anxiety disorder, however most of the class diagnosed him with depression. During feedback with the Prof afterwards somebody defended that since he's a med student, surely he'd have depression 하하하
..oh this really isn't that funny ㅡ_ㅡ

☆ Aisya, my childhood friend back home told me how funny it was that she got pretty nervous and sleepless about me the night before my Pathology exam last Thursday. Aww that's just ㅠㅠ♥ I miss her..

_____________________________ ________ ___________ ________
Paediatrics exam: 20091015
Medicine - final exam: 20091031 - 20091105
Trainee Intern Year begins: 20091123
~ربي يسسر ولاتعصر .ربي تمم بالخير
"O Allah make this [work] easy not difficult, may the ending be completed in goodness."

*Define HAMMERHEAD.
A hammerhead is an individual who places his head to the ground and hammers through any and all obstacles to get a job done and then ask for more work. One who gives 110% and never complains. One who desires work. [Lourne H.Blackbourne, Surgical Recall Fifth Edition]

☆ Best of luck, everyone ♥~!

* quote introduced by Suhada.

Ramadan, may we meet again next year..

2009-09-20T19:22:04Z

It's the morning of Syawal the 1st, here in NZ it falls on Monday -not a holiday for me here- instead of Sunday in other parts of the world. Anyway, Eid Mubarak to Muslim brothers & sisters ♥
May the blessing of Allah fill our lives with happiness and open all the doors of success now and always..

Someday, I hope I can take part in doing something about this.

إن شاء الله

Allah Knows by Zain Bhikha feat. Dawud Wharnsby

When you feel all alone in this world
And there’s nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS
No matter what, inside or out
There’s one thing of which there’s no doubt
Allah knows
Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows
Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS (x2)

BRIDGE:
Every grain of sand,
In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share, He knows.
Allah knows

난 아직 그대론데 너무 힘든데 널 잊지 못해 ♥

2009-09-14T10:43:41Z

Pretty old issue I suppose, but just need to get this off my chest. I support wholeheartedly KHottest's decision to boycott six member 2PM activities/albums etc.
God, why am I so worked up about this ㅡㅡ;;;

♥

sorely missed ♥

2009-09-13T03:10:57Z

..and the dream lives on still..

2009-09-08T09:36:31Z

I can't help but shed tears for Jaebum and the other six hardworking boys. It's upsetting beyond words, even Izza - who'd normally be apathetic and indifferent whenever I got affected over unimportant, immature stuff like this commented on how foolishly bizarre the situation was. The comments he made few years back were justifiable to us. Perhaps it's because we'd have those similar thoughts too at some point in the past five years living somewhere - New Zealand - not home - Malaysia - trying to pursue our dreams. It's definitely not easy. Leader Jay Park, sincerely I hope for you all the best. 2PM, End가 아닌 And..

♥

2009-09-04T18:54:52Z

a negative is half a positive.

2009-08-28T12:46:32Z

★ Was awakened in the middle of the night due to the quake as I felt like the bed moved from left to right, back and forth. Was too sleepy and tired to do anything I dozed off back again like straight away and only remembered about it when Izza mentioned it this morning. Thank God it was nothing major in general. Ah, my first time experiencing an earthquake ^^;;;
★ One observed long case done, thank God that was alright..another one to go -
화이팅~~!
★ On call this weekend, required to be at the ward from 09:00am to 08:30pm. Hoping to be able to get back home a few hours earlier though as I'd prefer to break fast - which is around 06:00pm - at home instead of at the hospital cafe..음..음..

I can forgive but I cannot forget, is only one way of saying, "I will not forgive." Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn into two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

..tarry with patience until your confusion is resolved..

2009-08-23T14:41:10Z

Dear Muslim brothers & sisters, Ramadhan ♥ greets us again for this year. Happy fasting~رمضان كريم، ان شاء الله شهر خير وبركه عليكم جميعا

Currently on my final run/attachment for this year - paediatrics. Getting closer and closer to the big fifth year exams. Less than ten weeks now. Wow, this is exciting! Anyway, I was supposed to join Delima, Cipot, Ain & other girls for a weekend getaway at Kaitoke but have been feeling a bit crooked since Wednesday so the weekend was spent mostly in bed. Am feeling much better now with all the extra sleeping hours, alhamdulillah. Couldn't agree more with Nuha's comment about how paediatric run was the time when she felt sick the most. Little ~~devils~~ darlings sure carry an amazing amount of bugs eagerly to be passed on at the ward/clinic ㅋㅋㅋ

The other night I was seeing this interesting 15 month old baby. She was all cute and cuddly apart from looking pretty off colour. She was alright playing with dad while I took her history from mum up until I started to try examine her, like I haven't touched her yet but as she sensed that I was pulling my stethoscope, she simply started screaming at the top of her lungs, wailing and oh! Fair enough my dear baby, understandably doctors & their students generally do unpleasant stuff to patients anyway. Plus I kind of behaved in a similar fashion long time ago. Mum said that when I was a toddler, dad needed to bring me back to the hospital for a follow up thingy - to remove some stitches on my forehead - and while we're still in the car, just as the hospital building came into sight I started crying & making a really big deal that dad flagged the appointment in the end. Stitches were removed by m♥m while I was asleep at home after that ^^;;;

During genetic clinic last Wednesday, the doctor suddenly asked me if I am Japanese when talking about Japanese toilet bowl and how it'd help the patient cope with his daily life. Which randomly brought me back to the time while I was in Seoul, one of the taxi driver askad me if I could speak Japanese since I clearly don't speak Korean much so he's trying to speak Japanese with me instead.
Ahh Seoul..보고싶엇어요 ㅠ_ㅠ♡

I'll be having two observed long case with two consultants sometime this Friday or the week after that. Basically, I'll be assigned a patient at the ward who I haven't seen and am required to do everything to sort the patient out. Take a history, do physical examination with the consultant observing me in the corner, and later present the case & clinical findings & come up with a management plan for that patient. Oh another thrilling task to look forward to, Lord help me please~

..meme stolen from Tyco ^^
Rules:
It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, ~~and tag twenty people.~~
Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : 이바
2. A four Letter Word : 애기
3. A boy's Name : 이특
4. A girl's Name : 윤아
5. An occupation : 의사
6. A color : 은빛
7. Something you'll wear : 안전벨트
9. A food : 오댕
10. Something found in the bathroom : 애프터셰이브
11. A place : 압구정동
12. A reason for being late : 오늘 늦잠ㅠㅠ
13. Something you'd shout : 여기요!
14. A movie title : 왕의 남자
15. Something you drink : 우유
16. A musical group : 이지
17. An animal : 오리
18. A type of car : 에쿠스
19. The title of a song : 아주 먼 옛날 / 슈퍼주니어

♥ I hope that everyone will always be blessed with a clear & courageous mindset and be able to simply breeze through the highs and lows of life. Take care, lovelies ♥

oh whatever.

2009-07-27T14:23:51Z

One of my slides for presentation tomorrow ㅋㅋㅋ just so you know, that's a photo of Leader Teuk ♥ baby (^-^)b

..posting my last slide too, just because~ 어미 고양이 ♥ 고양이 새끼

..cause you are so beautiful..

2009-07-25T13:46:08Z

..clear audio of Beautiful D♥nghae *^-^*

★ Simply pr♥ud of, and l♥ving and missing my dear boys so much - the high spirits, the happiness..

★ Was held back at the hospital last Friday (from 7am) til about midnight..was like secretly ㅠ-ㅠ at one point in the ward lol ~~you weakling~~ but ah every learning opportunity's priceless anyway ^-^

★ "Eva, this is Eba," this lovely mum introduced me to her two year old daughter ㅋㅋㅋ She had kindly let me stayed with her all throughout her labour two nights before and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy aww ♥

★ During the class about (in)fertility the consultant reminded us girls, "..don't wait too long to find the right bloke." One of the reasons more patients present at fertility clinic nowadays would be that many women - like us as he pointed out - have put off having a family while pursuing tertiery education, building up careers and by the time they're supposedly ready, chances of pregnancy are pretty slim. But it's still not impossible *snicker*

★ This Wednesday & Friday I'll be sitting my O&G exams oh yay Q(^--^Q)

The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness, to an opponent tolerance, to a friend your heart, to your child good example, to your father deference, to your mother a conduct that will make her proud of you, to yourself respect and to all men charity.

Wisdom and power follow endurance and patience. [Al-Hadith]

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y ♥

2009-06-30T19:37:35Z

- 20090701 -
박정수 // 이특
..항상 내 SJ#1..

__________________
오빠, 생일 축하해요~
★ 사랑해요 고마워요 기억할께요 ★

Don't panic. Life was made to be lived.

2009-06-29T10:24:46Z

★ Walked up Mount Victoria two weeks ago with Delima, Izza, Cipot & Ain. Great view from the top, lovely company. Felt g♥♥d ~

★ Am done with Psych run + winter break, started O&G run today. They gave us a pager each and it's our first time getting one and ~~like a kid getting a new toy~~ we're pretty giddy and excited about it. Plus it's much cheaper than texting each other with your phone too lol. Anyway O&G - this reminds me of sometime ago one patient was having a chest drain procedure for her pneumothorax. Despite adequate pain relief and such it's still an agonizing process for the patient, especially since she's conscious which was a good thing cause it meant she's pretty much alright besides her collapsed lung. She had given birth before, and the partner said something like comparing both types of pain and that she should be able to tolerate this pain even better. She simply replied "..at least you got a baby after that whereas this.." Aww knowing that a bundle of joy awaited her made the childbirth pain worthwhile ♥ ♥ ♥

★ A very interesting & amusing Lee Kyuhan in Introducing Star friend made my day. I remember watching him in Love Needs A Miracle with Mum and Cumai last summer and yeah, such a hilarious dude ♥

★ Stingy Leader Leeteuk FTW! Whatever they say, whatever they say ♥

★ Chansung + Leader + Taecyeon l♥ve around 2:58 ish *^-^*

★ Love the dorkiness when Sica's showing/teaching Leader + Heenim Genie dancesteps during 090626 Mubank, want to see the three of them again..Seoul oh Seoul ㅠ-ㅜ

★ ..항상 내 SJ#12.. 기범씨 너무 사랑합니다, 늘 행복하세요 ~

B♥ys, why so cute? *squishes*

ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

_________________________________________

Do not talk ill of the dead, for they have reached the final destination to receive what they sent before them.[ رسول الله صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم ]

..we live, we dream..

2009-06-22T02:39:56Z

♥ (>^_^)> <(^_^<) ♥

Grab the nearest book.
→ Open the book to page 56.
→ Find the fifth sentence.
→ Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
→ Don't dig for your favourite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

“Ask about cannabis, speed, ecstasy, cocaine, benzodiazepines, dihydrocodeine (DHC), heroin, morphine, methadone, co-codamol, Collis Brown, Gee’s linctus, codeine linctus, painkillers etc.”
[Michael A, OSCEs in Psychiatry]

________________________________________

→ Dreamwidth codes if anybody wants one:
B6F9SAHG783G2AAADC5C
2NYXX2F33HM6BAAADC8K
GJTNMGD58G2DPAAADC8L
BEWT3AY3H3CWJAAADBS7
T55PD4YX36FQDAAADBS8
9C3492M47RZTPAAADDL6

winter is here.

2009-06-09T22:43:14Z

Ranfurly, Winter 2007.

from Sarah,

Firstly: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.

01.List down 5 names you're currently having the hots for~!
1.박정수♥
2.최민호
3.이동해
4.슈퍼주니어!
5.조인성

02. Is there someone you would like to meet?
Yes.

03. Are you craving for something right now?
Nope.

04. What's your occupation?
Med schooler.

05. Any place on your body that is aching right now?
Not terribly.

06. The best thing to happen to you as of late?
Se★ul ♥

07. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
슈퍼주니어♥

08. Who do you live with?
[fellow 5th yr med schoolers] Delima, Izza, Shuang & Izzati.

09. What was the last magazine you bought?
Cosmopolitan [Korea] 200906.

10. What is your zodiac sign?
Sagittarius.

11. Who was the last person you thought of before going to bed?
Myself.

12. JYP FAMILY, YG FAMILY or SM FAMILY? Choose one.
SM.

13. Does the weather affect your mood?
Don't think so.

14. What is your favorite weather, and why?
Warm, just because.

15. Name a song that makes you feel good.
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.

16.What's one of your favorite movies?
Infernal Affairs FTW.

17. Do you have any siblings?
Yup, six of them ♥

18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
"You'll be fine."

19. What are your plans for next weekend?
[hopefully] Chill.

20. Say something to the person who tagged you:
사랑해~

Secondly: Tag 3 or 8 people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.
people, people, people.

"We create our fate every day..... most of the ills we suffer from are directly traceable to our own behavior. Of course, fortune has its part in human affairs, but conduct is really much more important. You don't just luck into things...... You build step by step, whether it's friendships or opportunities."

♥

2009-06-05T10:09:13Z

Old KT fanvid made by someone. Uploaded as per prototypic's request at kangteuk.

life is peachy.

2009-05-23T08:28:48Z

★ L ♥ V E ★

★★★★★★★

Hurts happen. Be strong. Be happy, lovelies ♥

"From pride, vain-glory, and hypocrisy; from envy, hatred, and malice, and all uncharitableness, good Lord, deliver us."

★★★★★★★

..cheesy still, but I am my sister's.

★★★★★★★

Live as long as you want, but you must die; love whatever you want, but you will become separated from it; and do what you want, but you will be repaid for it! [Imam Ghazali]

Q(°--°Q)

2009-05-17T03:12:42Z

..oh Leader, why so adorable? ♥ all the hugs..the love..

☆ First 너라고 performance in a few hours time \(♥-♥)/
☆ "..whether you go to sleep at 10pm or 1am, the next morning you'd feel the same, still lazy to go to school.." - fellow med schooler on why it's better to sleep late and do something useful with the extra time instead ㅋㅋㅋ
☆ Izza's off to Hastings with Nuha today for their two week community paeds attachment. Less people to get excited/cry about med school/life with face-to-face *is a bit sad*
☆ Watched Top Chef 5 reunion on tv the other day, Stefan/Fabio straightness ftw ^o^
☆ Got a lovely random card from little sister, Cumai ♥♥♥ 많이 보고 싶어 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief.
Verily, with the hardship, there is relief. [94:5-6]

Box of fluffy ducks. Endearing. Full of shit and feathers. Still endearing perhaps.

2009-05-09T15:37:22Z

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥ MC 강특 ♥

♥ Happy M♥ther's day! I love my mum, ♥ mums in general. For the altruistic love and undying support, I am forever thankful. ♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm a week into my psych run. The only run this year where you're not required to join nights- or weekend-on-calls \(^_^)/

Last run - gen. med. & subspecialties was pretty intense, super glad it's over. There's this one week where lots of ~~ridiculous~~ assignments were due, my groupmates and I simply went, "I'm starting to feel like I hate medicine! I hate---! I really hate---!" and crying every~~second you're alone~~day feels like a norm. I mean it's not just about the workload it's just urgh, can't it get any more stressful please? And it's not like you're not at least enjoying the run to a degree but we're only human where whining about life is a must, oh. I suppose I'm beginning to understand more, feel more with those who quit/leave this world after many years successfully(painfully?) going through it. Thankfully, seeing many people manage to went through the course remains a wonderful motivator to ~~try really hard to~~ keep on going.

Anyway, I'm currently attached at psych acute ward. The patients are fascinating..well, you do get a bit miserable after seeing them with their conditions and sad stories but you just have to remember to debrief yourself regularly and as the psychiatrist told me, "Smile always." Fellow student at the ward with me managed to attract a pretty harmless stalker who thought he was her boyfriend and called him her boyfriend's name and "partner", watched him longingly through the glass window as he's trying to finish up patient's note while I was sitting at the side covering my face trying hard to stop laughing at him. A patient referred to me as a Chinese and then a Japanese after a few moments despite being told that I was Malaysian by the doctor. And one patient who is neither a female nor a child asked me for a "cuddle", oh dear. No.

In a somewhat related context to psych, I think people should be content and happy to live and just love and not expecting the subject of their love to must love them back or show that they care and to never disappoint. Therefore hopefully not be dying to live. Suicide is not, and never will be the answer to end all the misery. Where to from there? What about us here?

Human suffering is real. However, human perseverance and human dignity are just as real. They allow us to nobly endure the trials of this world. [Imam Zaid Shakir]

김영운 ♥ 박정수 ♥ 김영운

2009-04-25T07:52:52Z

..and ♥|동해. 1:41 - 1:51. Best ten seconds ever. Thank you. ~~I Miss You.~~

\o/

2009-04-15T11:30:57Z

So, the Again & Again / 2PM teaser's making me all excited as if I've nothing else better to do right now than fangirling much ㅡㅡ;;;

comforting sounds.

2009-04-12T15:09:54Z

from Avi sometime ago,

Association Meme: Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

"KANGTEUK!"Happily married. Efficient Leaders of Super Junior no matter what everyone likes to think. 음양. The chemistry. ~~The sex.~~ The dynamic of them seemingly caring so much for each other is pure l♥ve. And I don't think I'll ever get tired of them, KT FTW!

"Angel Leader Teukie Teukie Eeteuk"Obviously the love of my life ㅋㅋㅋ but anyway my limited perception of him as an adoring fan is that he's truly such an understanding, wonderful, SPECIAL person. I intuitively believe he is like that off-camera/Super Junior too. It's always very pleasing to see how he handle the boys, the fans, the press, everyone with his ~~retardedness, lame jokes, cheesy words~~ gentle charisma and sensitiveness. No words can really express how much I ad♥re him, well not like I'm comfortable enough to truly express it to the world in the first place anyway..

"New Zealand"Beautiful. It's been almost four years and I'm so grateful to be here, further my studies here, get to make new friends, experience the breathtaking scenery + cool outdoor adventures and learn about the unique and lovely Kiwi & Maori culture/language. Sucks a bit that it's far away from home, long flights, lack of a number of lovely people I know and Malaysian foods. Everyone should travel here, better yet come down and pay me a visit ok ^-^

"Encouragement"Everyone needs encouragement. To achieve goals, to pursue our dreams. I need this much most of the time to get through life in general, especially this year. Loved ones, Super Junior, criticism/kind words/gestures, photographs, the ever beautiful Nature, stories from all over the world and so on and so forth ♥

"Medicine"Ah what can I say about this then, well the course to me is something that pretty much occupy most of the time in my life right now. Something I enjoy most of the time. Something I want to be really good at, where we're told that to do well doesn't depend much on how brilliant you are or how deep your knowledge is but on how calm and collected you & your brain are under pressure. Oh. OK WE CAN!

☆ Am on a week break thankfully ^o^ Dear self, laziness and the love of luxuries is the key to destruction and deprivation. Need to practise OSCE heaps and study and oh assignments, I love you I really do ㅠ.ㅜ

Anxiety is the great modern plague, but faith can cure it. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. Worry is the only insupportable misfortune of life. What worries you, masters you.

we've got these pills to swallow.

2009-04-04T11:05:04Z

An ED nurse told me that he thought those red bats on my shoes are bloods XD

I love joining the weekend on calls. Such joy.

☆ Daylight saving ends tomorrow which means an extra hour of sleep ~~or reviewing more about cases to be presented to the consultant on post acute ward round tomorrow morning~~ yay ^o^
☆ Mum's friend came to visit her graduating son, bringing along heaps of lovely stuff - food, more food, clothes etc from mum for me ♥♥♥
☆ Was one and a half hour late to one of my classes last week as I didn't properly update the timetable. I hope that doesn't really affect my end of run assessment. But honestly, I'm a responsible student!
☆ Happy birthday M♥nkey, keep on sharing your fantastic talent & love to E.L.F., the world. Thank y♥u.

VOTE EARTH.

2009-03-28T07:19:28Z

Earth Hour tonight 8:30 pm, time zone by time zone. Please, do care.

Always love. Always you.
cr: the-leeteuk.com

If we send thoughts of anger and bitterness to those who pollute the earth with smoke and chemicals, we are poisoning the atmosphere with our thoughts. Hating anyone has never done anyone any good, and it certainly has not brought any more peace to the world. [Cohen, The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore]

sorry, sorry. success, success.

2009-03-22T10:05:50Z

A number of things make me low. They [among others] make me high.
Loved them then. Still do now. [and perhaps] Will always, always.

Love the one whom you love in the moderation, perhaps one day he will be one whom you hate, and hate the one whom you hate in moderation perhaps one day he will be one whom you love. [Rasulullah PBUH]